Print this page
Monday, 11 January 2010 18:46

“How do I introduce my family to my gay partner of four years knowing they supported Amendment Two?”

Written by 

Now as for the task at hand: how to share news that could cause family splits, rejections, pain when celebration is called for. Given I do not know your family, some of what I will say might be helpful and some might not match your particular situation. So some questions: Is there anyone in your family, mother, father, sibling, aunt, uncle, grandparent, that would be an ally? I don't see any necessity in meeting with everyone at once unless you feel that would be best. I could see how anxiety might drive you there, but I would suggest holding off on that strategy. Good politics is bringing allies to the meeting so you do not bear the full weight of the response. So find some one in the family whose love and care for you goes beyond cultural prejudices. I would also introduce your partner to them after the alliance is solidified. In other words making the introduction is small steps rather than all at once. This also expresses your care for your family.

It has been my experience that some people dislike the idea of homosexuality, yet when a loved one shares with them “it is I, someone you love, standing before you who is gay, and this is the love of my life,” the idea melts away and love supersedes discomfort.

You know your family and your family may surprise you. By sending the question in you demonstrate care and concern for both your family and your partner. The nature of your family and your anxiety will determine your course of action. So the more you can reduce your anxiety and ponder the nature of your family, the more caring this introducing will be. I would also say by no means put yourself or your partner through any trauma. Changing belief systems can be difficult and often takes time. I hope these words are helpful and maybe they will encourage further discussion before taking any steps. If you feel I can be of further help, please contact me on this forum or via email.

Dr. Gregory

Last modified on Monday, 11 January 2010 18:49

Latest from SCPA

Login to post comments